Spinning Platters

We say a picture is worth a thousand words.  If my math is correct, a two hour and seventeen minute movie, therefore, should be worth 197,280 words (at 24 frames per second).  Why, then, when White House Down ended, did my friend turn to me and say, “There are no words…”, and begin conjuring up fantasies of what he could have been doing for the previous 2+ hours instead?  The answer is that White House Down is a terrible movie that misses all of its marks.  It is not the fun explosion-filled action spectacle we used to expect from director Roland Emmerich in the mid-late 90’s and early 00’s.  It’s better than 2012 and worse than Anonymous, although comparing WHD to 2012 is like comparing dirt to mud.  It’s a shame this movie falls so far short because it had all the right ingredients in place for it to be a loud summer escapist romp.  Instead, White House Down belittles its own silly story by trading in ‘silliness’ for ‘stupidity’.  It is chalk full of stale acting and uninspired thrills, complete with a genuinely shocking amount of unrealistic moments (yes, even for a film about the White House being hijacked).

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