Film Review: London Has Fallen

Implausible and ridiculous, London falls hard.

Gerard Butler, despite a big gun, misses the mark by a long shot.
Gerard Butler, despite a big gun, misses the mark by a long shot.

I really wanted another Olympus Has Fallen, the action-packed guilty pleasure of 2013. I was ready for explosions and gunfire and John McClane-type odds. London Has Fallen missed the mark on every single one of my expectations. The explosions looked hokey, the level of implausibility was off the charts, and despite the John McClane-type odds, the action never rose to fully excitable heights. Gerard Butler has the same charisma he’s always had, but the movie (which he produced) doesn’t do him any favors — simplifying his one-note wise-cracking character to a gun wielding one-note wise-cracking character. Sure, it serves the ultra-generic action movie plot well, but when the best line he utters is “F-ck me? F-ck you!”, you know that another minute or two could’ve been spent fleshing out his character’s persona a bit more. Needless to say, Butler is still the best part of London Has Fallen, demonstrating his physical action hero gravitas in a sea of utter muck.

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Film Review: Minions

Oh, so cute! Yet even more minions would’ve served Minions better.

Bob and Kevin and Stuart. Three Three (Minion) Stooges.
Bob and Kevin and Stuart. Three Three (Minion) Stooges.

I’m not going to get too bogged down with analyzing the storyline or characters here (other than the Minions). The story actually well suits a feature-length treatment for these until-now side characters: After many millennia searching and serving (and inevitably losing) the biggest and baddest bosses they could find, three Minions leave their “colony” to find a new big bad boss. Honestly, I could watch 90 minutes of these adorable yellow pill-shaped creatures reading to each other in a classroom. With a language consisting of 50% Italian, 40% gibberish, and 10% random sounds, unique personalities befitting each standardly-named individual, and an unparalleled sense of loyalty, these little guys are too cute to dislike.

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