Tag: pedro pascal

Film Review: “Gladiator II”

Gladiator II forgoes emotion in favor of blood and spectacle

In the summer of 2000, Gladiator reinvigorated audiences’ desire for the sword-and-sandal epic. This subgenre had mostly been relegated to the “classics” section of movie rental stores, with the likes of Spartacus and Conan the Barbarian. And yet, the subgenre died out again after the Gladiator copies had their swings at glory in the early-2000s. Unfortunately, very few directors like Sir Ridley Scott have the talent to produce a sword-and-sandal epic. So here we find ourselves, in 2024, and Sir Ridley is again hoping to re-popularize the subgenre with Gladiator II, a sequel to the Best Picture and Best Actor Oscar-winning 2000 film. While undoubtedly entertaining from start to finish and featuring a stellar Denzel Washington performance, Gladiator II suffers from the flaws of “sequelitis” and an insecurity about whether audiences recall the original film. Continue reading “Film Review: “Gladiator II””

Film Review: “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent”

Basking in the total Nick Cageness of Nick Cage

He's reached total Cage
He’s reached total Cage.

If you live in California, Nicolas Cage is a Prius. If you live in Alabama, Nicolas Cage is an F-150. If you live in Colorado, Nicolas Cage is a Subaru. Ubiquitous, omnipresent, universal don’t begin to describe his career. Simple descriptors, most adjectives, even words themselves, fail to cover the sheer, gargantuan, remark-ability of the man’s effect on our collective souls. Continue reading “Film Review: “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent””

Film Review: The Great Wall

White male hero leads dumpster fire movie to a forgettable fate.

Do we LOOK like we’re having fun?

I chose the above picture for very specific reasons. I could’ve chosen a more beautiful shot of a heroic looking Matt Damon atop The Great Wall of China. But no, I preferred this one for the way it captures the feeling one has while watching The Great Wall — the feeling of trudging through the sewer, acting unfazed while knowing deep down that the journey will result in nothing but a sh*tty mess. If you were considering watching The Great Wall as a fun activity this weekend (or at some point), let me save you the two hours you’d never get back. First, The Great Wall is offensive for its white savior narrative. Second, it’s poorly shot and edited. And third, it features cartoonish special effects and thus can’t even manage to string together two minutes of respectable cinema without an embarrassing element restarting the clock.

Continue reading “Film Review: The Great Wall“