film review – Page 7 – Spinning Platters

Film Review: The Night Before

It’s a (stoner) holiday miracle!

The spirit of Christmas is alive in these three "gentlemen." — The spirit of Christmas is alive in these three “gentlemen.”

I feel like its been a while since the last raunchy comedy, which I think was Trainwreck back in July. That’s not to suggest that I wish there were more R-rated comedies flooding the market, but I do think I was primed for a movie like The Night Before. I wanted a stupid, profanity-filled, drug-trippin, buddy comedy (in this case, a threesome bromance) and I wasn’t disappointed. Sprinkle in a bit of holiday cheer for good measure and add a pinch of well-timed celebrity cameos for extra zest! The Night Before is 70% unadulterated stoner comedy, 20% heart, and 10% holiday spirit, and I enjoyed 99% of it! (the other 1% was a very disappointing final 60 seconds).

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Film Review: Spectre

Bland, James Bland

Bond, like us, is waiting for some excitement.

I’m a Quantum of Solace defender. I think that film, which was Daniel Craig’s second as James Bond, gets better after repeat viewings and was highly underrated when it came out, and still is today. And so maybe you can take extra caution that even I, a Quantum of Solace supporter, think that Spectre falls short of the previous 3 Bond films. Don’t worry, it’s still better than Die Another Day. Spectre relies heavily on plot points from the previous three films, trying to tie all loose-ends together that didn’t need any tying. The movie also feels like a 150 min homage to classic Bond tropes—and it gets tiring when there’s no real purpose except to wink at the audience. It’s a pity so much talent and hype got mismanaged. It may be a pretty film, and distractingly thrilling during its handful of ridiculous action sequences, but its otherwise aimless, oddly unfulfilling if not dull, and ultimately less rewarding than superior actioners like Mi5: Rogue Nation, The Dark Knight and even Skyfall (all from which Spectre seems to be borrowing…or copying).

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Film Review: The Peanuts Movie

Something for everyone, but not everything for anyone.

The Peanuts Movie is about the Peanuts Gang. In the movie, they do a lot of things. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. Okay, nine hundred eighty-three words to go! That and other classic Peanuts gags help gloss over a movie that does the best it can to pay homage to its traditional animation roots while taking advantage of the cinematic benefits of being the latest example of modern computer animation.

The movie itself will annoy Peanuts purists while providing a G-rated outlet for families with small children everywhere. And, honestly, that’s probably all one could hope for. The last Peanuts movie was released 35 years ago, and there’s honestly no reason to expect The Peanuts Movie to be anything like the four Peanuts motion pictures that preceded it.

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Film Review: Bridge of Spies

Spielberg + Coens + Hanks = Better than your average storytelling.

The lawyer who became a negotiator. The negotiator who united three empires.

Thomas Newman seems to be doing his best musical imitation of John Williams throughout the former’s original score for Bridge of Spies. The reason I started with this opinionated tidbit is because it’s probably the weakest part of the movie. The score isn’t among Newman’s finest (American Beauty, Road to Perdition, Finding Nemo) and it’s far from capturing the spirit of Williams’ finest (Star Wars, Munich, Lincoln, basically everything…ever). The music in Bridge of Spies is the weakest, though still serviceable, mixed result in a movie production full of interesting mixes. Bridge of Spies represents the first time the Coen brothers have written for Spielberg, the first time Spielberg has employed a composer other than Williams for a feature film in lord knows how long, and judging by the number of production companies listed in the beginning, probably the first time Spielberg has needed the aid of a half dozen independent companies to help a production out. Sure, it’s also the fourth collaboration between Spielberg and Hanks, so there’s that. However, point being that Bridge of Spies had a lot of award-winning talent working together, and the results are infectious, if not odd, but totally worth our while. Embracing the tonal patchwork that comes from great minds working together, Bridge of Spies is a tense, fascinating true story of courage during the Cold War.

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Film Review: Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

Rogue Nation keeps the pedal to the metal to deliver exhilarating action, while losing some of its franchise identity.

Basically a much better version of Mission:Impossible 2.

‘Ready or not, here I come.’ No, I’m not just quoting the classic song by The Fugees remixed for the M:I5 trailer. I’m saying this because its how the near 20 year old franchise is approaching audiences today, July 31st 2015. With so many action films coming out these days (many of which are quite sub-par), it’s hard to get super excited for another one, nevermind a fifth entry in a franchise. But here’s the thing—the folks behind Mission:Impossible-Rogue Nation know they’re delivering something better than the rest (or most of the rest). After the first ten minutes of Rogue Nation, you’ll realize how much the marketing of the movie has duped you, but in the best way possible. Director Christopher McQuarrie has created a smart action flick so loud and ridiculous that it’s hard to catch your breath. But although Rogue Nation delivers the smarts and the thrills, it doesn’t stick to the formula that has separated (and benefited) the Mission:Impossible franchise from the rest of the spy pack. While no one was saying that the Mission:Impossible franchise was dead, especially after a $209 mil domestic box office take with 2011’s Ghost Protocol, each new installment is met with speculation whether this will be the final outing or not. Rogue Nation all but directly acknowledges this speculation when Jeremy Renner’s William Brandt says, “This may very well be our last mission. Let’s make it count…” Ha! We all know you’ll be back! I’ll put all the speculation to rest—it’s not the final outing. Rogue Nation is as energetic and exhilarating as the franchise has ever been while at the top of its game.

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Film Review: Southpaw

Southpaw throws a flurry of clichéd punches

Southpaw was not what I expected. I believed and hoped that I was walking into a Rocky type fable, or maybe a modern day Raging Bull. There have been a few strong entries into the sport fighting genre in recent years, including Rocky Balboa (2006), Warrior (2011), and hopefully the upcoming Creed (2015). Sure, there are twice as many sub-par entries between the aforementioned titles, but with a superb cast headlined by limitless Jake Gyllenhaal and under the consistently solid (if not above average) direction of Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, The Equalizer), Southpaw seemed destined to be the strong sports drama entry that comes along every handful of years. Alas, it is not. The sure bets going into the final product still shine—Gyllenhaal is superb and Fuqua’s direction is effective—but the story is formulaic and surprisingly, subtly, unnervingly, kinda racist.

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Film Review: Minions

Oh, so cute! Yet even more minions would’ve served Minions better.

Bob and Kevin and Stuart. Three Three (Minion) Stooges.

I’m not going to get too bogged down with analyzing the storyline or characters here (other than the Minions). The story actually well suits a feature-length treatment for these until-now side characters: After many millennia searching and serving (and inevitably losing) the biggest and baddest bosses they could find, three Minions leave their “colony” to find a new big bad boss. Honestly, I could watch 90 minutes of these adorable yellow pill-shaped creatures reading to each other in a classroom. With a language consisting of 50% Italian, 40% gibberish, and 10% random sounds, unique personalities befitting each standardly-named individual, and an unparalleled sense of loyalty, these little guys are too cute to dislike.

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Film Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

‘Fifty Shades’ is caught between a book and a hard place.

Must. Stare. To. Create. Intense. Chemistry!

I sort of feel sorry for Francine Maisler, the casting director of Fifty Shades of Grey. Francine was given an impossible task — to cast the role of Christian Grey with an actor whose every physical characteristic would accurately reflect the subjective sexual fantasies of millions of female (and male) readers. 100 million, to be more exact. Once a Grey was found, the rest should’ve fallen more easily into place. To the filmmakers credit, and to Maisler’s, the casting job is almost as good as it could’ve been. Jamie Dornan makes for a sexy steely-eyed (see what I did there?) Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson makes for a very strong pretty-yet-plain Anastasia Steele. Oh, but there’s one problem…they have to have great chemistry together in order to pull it off. Oops. Fifty Shades of Grey is not as bad as you may think or hope, and if you’re brave enough to refrain from poking fun of it to look cool, it’s not hard to notice some strong cinematic merits and a strong yet simply central plot with a lot of interesting potential. Sadly, the lack of actor chemistry and the screenwriter’s loyalty to the book’s popularity sours the overall impact of the film, which, despite its effectiveness in pushing the boundaries of sex in a rated R film, should’ve had a stronger impact.

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Film Review: Blackhat

Blackhat is a real hack job.

Hacker Hemsworth looking as confused about 'Blackhat' as we are. — Hacker Hemsworth looking as confused about ‘Blackhat’ as we are.

Blackhat is a film about a good guy hacker team trying to stop an elusive bad guy hacker. It had a lot going for it, considering it’s directed by Michael Mann (Collateral, Heat), stars ultra-manly Chris Hemsworth (Thor), and as we can all attest to, its cybercrime theme is very relevant. So why is Blackhat such a bad movie? It’s bad because it’s messy, miscast, and poorly put together. Not Michael Mann’s trademark digital lensing nor Hemsworth’s chiseled abs can save Blackhat from plodding through grating dialogue, an unrealistic plot and a pointless romantic subplot. Aside from a solid supporting job from Viola Davis and some beautiful night shots of cities around the world, Blackhat basically fails on all fronts.

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Film Review: The Best of Me

The Best of Me offers the near-worst in its genre.

Eye candy, yes. Chemistry, no. James Marsden look-alike, absolutely not.

Take a close look at the picture above. Does Mr. Shirtless look anything like a high school version of James Marsden? If you answered ‘yes’, then this movie is absolutely the movie for you. If you answered ‘no’, then you’re completely normal and will understand what I say when I say that the part of young Dawson was completely miscast. This was the biggest failure of The Best of Me, but there were other failures as well, including a overly complicated third act. Based on the book by Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook, A Walk to Remember), The Best of Me is obviously catering to the same audiences that have contributed a whopping ton of money to previous Sparks adaptations. But this movie fails as an inspiring story and fails to provide compelling characters. I haven’t read the book so I can’t say for sure whether or not it was the source material’s fault. But either way, its unpredictability and distractions ruin the chance for emotional connectivity.

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