michelle rodriguez – Spinning Platters

Film Review: Furious 7

The seven things you want and need to know about Furious 7 before you go see it.

Vin Diesel and Jason Statham crash a lot of cars in Furious 7

Sometimes you’ll hear people talk about a movie as being review-proof. This is one of those times. There’s nothing anyone could do or say to keep you away from Furious 7 if it’s something you already want to see. And if you don’t care, there’s nothing I could say to make you care. So what’s the point? I could tell you it’s a rollicking good time for most of its length, and then it devolves into some pretty dumb stuff, too dumb even for itself. It’s basically a bunch of video game levels with some unskippable cut scenes that you wish you could skip.

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Film Review: Turbo

A cute, formulaic, one-joke movie…but at least it’s not sluggish!

He's going the distance! He's going for speed! — He’s going the distance! He’s going for speed!

Low expectations commonly yield better-than-expected results. In the case of Turbo, a charming result emerges from an incredibly lackluster premise. ‘A snail that goes fast!‘…Okay, not really piquing my interest. ‘And, he races in the Indy 500!’ Snails and racing? No thank you, I’d rather read a book. Turbo doesn’t break any new ground, nor is it distinctly memorable. Its straightforward story is respectable, its characters are pleasant, and the colorful visuals are good. Nearly every joke is about the ‘snails vs. speed’ theme at play, but luckily the movie never slows to a snail-like crawl. But despite the film’s drawbacks, audiences will still be rewarded by Turbo, if only because it’s just not as bad as it seems.

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Film Review: Fast & Furious 6

Tyrese Gibson (or likely a stuntman) in Fast & Furious 6

Ludacris sums up Fast & Furious 6 rather perfectly when his character says, “we’re talking vehicular warfare.” Expecting anything less (or more) from a fifth sequel in an action franchise would be knuckle-headed. At this point, the Fast & Furious franchise has all but given up on the sense of wonder and emotional release the first movie captured so well in its focus on muscle cars and street racing. Carried on the muscular shoulders of Vin Diesel (now age 46, seriously!) and Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock, and to a much lesser extent Paul Walker, and guided by the action-trained eye of director Justin Lin, the sixth installment is a top notch action thrill ride but lacks heart. Of course, ‘heart’ isn’t even close to what the filmmakers set out to capture. Ready and rearing to continue making bank, Fast & Furious 6 puts the pedal to the metal and delivers a high-octane cinematic escape that is as entertaining as it is absolutely crazy! (see above image)

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