(This post is actually from 2009. Our esteemed Editor In Chief, Gordon Elgart, wrote it. But he’s lame and not coming out this year. So I, Dakin Hardwick, have made a few tweaks for this year’s festival guide. Not many, however, because when you put on the best music festival in California, you don’t need to make too many changes every year.)
This weekend’s Treasure Island Music Festival has quickly become my favorite musical event of the year. There are no conflicting set times, so you can see everyone on the bill. The size of the festival is fairly small, so it’s easy to get around. The setting in the middle of San Francisco Bay is absolutely stunning. And something about all of these combine to keep the people going in a relaxed, pleasant mood that makes being there all the more enjoyable. Set times are up, but, seriously, you should just expect to be there from morning til night, because it would be foolish not to.
Now, you might think going to this festival is as easy as hopping in your car and going to the festival to enjoy some music, but you’d be wrong. Read on, and I’ll teach you how to avoid rookie mistakes.
New for 2010 I guess this is old hat now: The Silent Disco!
Oh, I’ve seen these silent discos. Everybody gets a pair of headphones, and they’re the only ones who can hear the DJ. So if you’re not partaking, and you just happen to walk by, you’ll see a bunch of people who look like they’re dancing to nothing. It looks hilarious. But better than that is to actually get the pair of headphones and be the one looking hilarious. Funny practical joke for DJs: play different songs at different tempos for everyone; then see them try to dance with each other.
Leave yourself enough time to get there
You can’t drive to the festival unless you’re one of the special people who bought a VIP package. If you’re an average punter, you’ll be taking the bus from AT&T Park. If you’re thinking of driving to the ballpark, remember that you’ve got regular weekend city traffic to contend with, and there are always other events going on. For this reason, I strongly recommend taking public transit. Give yourself at least an hour between your arrival time at the ballpark and the time of the band’s set that you want to see first. The bus lines move fast, and the buses are plush and comfortable, but they still have to drive over the bridge to get to the island.
Don’t believe the hype: bring more clothes
This week, the weather has been sunny and amazing, super hot, annoyingly so. But now the forecast calls for hazy and 60s for the weekend. Remember, though: this is San Francisco, and you’re on an island. The weather could be hot or cold, sunny or cloudy, clear or foggy, dry or rainy. It could be absolutely anything. Don’t get caught all the way out there without a few layers. Bring a nice rain jacket if you have it.
Wear sunscreen (literally)
As I said previously, the music festival is on an island. If you’ve never been to the beach before, you might not know that sunlight reflects off of water and can cause you to burn even faster. It can get pretty bright out there. And we’d like you to be safe. Other health advice: bring earplugs because your hearing is a gift you can’t get twice, drink lots of water because hydration is a key to good health, and bring hand sanitizer to limit the effects of cold and flu season on you.
Bring a giant plastic bag; get free stuff
You might be able to find a giant plastic bag on the island, but I say to plan ahead. When you get there, start collecting bottles and cups that people leave laying around on the ground. Some people are too lazy to throw things away. Help them out! Then take all of these recyclables to the Recycling Store, and you can trade them in for goodies. Most likely, these will include things like Noise Pop Festival badges and Outside Lands Festival tickets, along with autographed items from some of the bands on the weekend’s lineup. What you can’t do is dig through the cups and bottles that were already properly disposed. While this takes less time, it’s against the rules and may get you disqualified from your free goodies.
I can hear you right now, saying “why would I want to pick up trash? I’m too good to pick up trash.” Are you too good to spend 30 minutes of your day on getting a few hundred dollars worth of music tickets? I know I’m not.
Get taken for a ride
There’s a giant ferris wheel on Treasure Island for the weekend that provides a great view of the San Francisco skyline. You may look at it and think, “I’ll go on that later” or “that seems a bit pricey.” Our official advice to you is to go on it now. First off, you’re gonna kick yourself if you don’t spend a few dollars to go on a ferris wheel. You’ll spend a year thinking that you just should have gone on when you had the chance. And the reason to go on it now is that the island gets busier as the day goes on, and the line to ride the ferris wheel can get pretty intense. You can miss an entire band’s set waiting on the ferris wheel, and the bands that play at night? They tend to the biggest ones. Don’t miss The National’s The Preset’s entire set to ride the wheel; miss one song of The Mumlers Hospitality.
Bring a poster tube
You’re going to go visit the merchandise booth, you’ll see the official show poster, and you’re going to want it. This I can promise you. At this point, you might be offered a rubber band to carry it, and by the time you get it home, it will be a crumpled mess. Don’t let this happen to you. If you prepare yourself with a poster tube, easily purchased at a store near you, the poster will make it home in pristine condition. (There’s a chance the merch booth will offer poster tubes, but I wouldn’t count on this.) In addition, I know of at least one artist who’ll be selling all sorts of posters at the show. You’ll see these, and you’re going to want one. If you are at all inclined toward posters, bring a tube.
Shop local
The festival has a feature they call The Treasure Chest. This is how the collection of vendors you’ll find on-site are referred to. When you start shopping around, I’m going to make a quick suggestion: buy local. Some of the vendors are going to be local artists and craftspeople. Others will be straight-up advertising opportunities for giant mega-corporations. Your time on the island is limited–there are few bands you won’t want to watch, regardless of your particular taste. Spend this time supporting your local vendors, and keep your community strong.
Thank the Ice Cream Man
The Ice Cream Man is amazing. When I first heard of him, it was because I saw his sticker and thought “what great marketing for a guy who sells ice cream!” Instead, it turns out that he gives out free ice cream. I’m not sure how he does it; I know he gets sponsors from time to time, but basically he travels around to events and hands out ice cream. I’m a bit of a cynic in general, but I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to find out his nefarious goals, and he has none. So when you’re handed the cool sticker and a cooler tasty treat, be sure to give kind thanks. Note: At the time of this writing, I have not seen any confirmation that he will be attending this year, but I’m assuming he is. This is only an assumption and I would love to be corrected.
Check out the sunset
I lived on Treasure Island a few years ago, and for all the little annoyances that come with living on an island, there are its joys as well. The absolute best part of being there was the view. Looking west toward San Francisco as the sun goes down never gets tiring. So make sure to check it out. Don’t get wrapped up in the band on stage too much to miss this opportunity. Alternately, you could drive over here some other time, or take the 108 bus, but you won’t have a killer band on stage when it happens. Look for it Saturday during Tycho and Sunday during Divine Fits.
Get close to the main stage
I’m about to give away one of my Treasure Island Music Festival secrets. If you’re anything like me, you’re going to want to go back and forth between the two stages all day long. The stages are pretty close together, so this will be easy. What if you want to get fairly close to the Bridge stage, but it looks really crowded? Here’s what you do. Walk along the fence on the west side of the island (house left as you face the stage) and when you get to the trees near the stage, take a right. You’ll then be house-left, only a little far back. For some reason, everyone tries to go up the center or the right side, leaving this area free with plenty of dance space.
See the early bands
Noise Pop and Another Planet have been kind enough to schedule an entire day of music for all of us, so please take advantage of this opportunity. You could just show up to see The xx and M83 and get “your money’s worth,” but I’d rather make a musical profit on my day. The bands that play earliest each day–Spinning Platters’ favorites K. Flay and Grimes on Saturday, and Imperial Teen and Wild Belle on Sunday–are going to be absolutely thrilled to be playing at such a great festival, and I urge all of you to see them. Bring your energy to the daylight acts and you’ll be met with energy coming back.
Don’t be one of those people who hears, “Oh man War On Drugs were so amazing! Too bad you missed it!” Be the one saying it.
Don’t be a dick
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, people have a cool and relaxed vibe at this event. It’s not something I can explain, but it definitely happens. I invite everyone to follow the above credo, and refrain from dick moves. Don’t push people out of the way to get to the front of the stage. If you’re a tall guy like me, follow my Code of the Tall Guy: don’t move directly in front of someone if they’ve been waiting there all day to see a band and let people shorter than you stand in front of you (unless they’re going to drag their 6’4″ boyfriend in front of you too. Screw that.) The festival isn’t that big, the speakers are plenty loud, and you can just dance wherever you are.
By the way, the power of these four words is strong. If you’re ever at a show and someone is going a bit too far, you seriously can look them in the eye and say, “Hey! Don’t be a dick!” While this is not recommended on the official Wikipedia essay about this “fundamental rule of all total social spaces,” it works like a charm at a rock show.
Say hi to your friendly neighborhood music reviewers
If you see any of the Spinning Platters crew this weekend, be sure to say hi. Personally, I’ll be there all day every day carrying an iPhone, so if you email me, or any of us, we’d be glad to meet you in person and have you tell us what you love or hate about our website.
Hope to see you there, and have a great time! Tickets are still available, and if you don’t join me, I’ll be pretty bummed.
