“There will be…. ONE intermission.”
I have to start by admitting that what I witnessed this evening is difficult to paraphrase. To do so would be a disservice to the intimacy and honesty that Amanda Palmer shared with us. While that certainly sounds like an excuse for laziness, I am being quite earnest. It’s hard to come to terms with it, but I’m at a complete loss of how to describe what I experienced in that giant ex-movie palace where I watched a woman tell her story armed with nothing but a Steinway grand piano, a ukulele, and a hell of a lot more bravery than I think I’ll ever know.
I learned more about this artist I admire than I ever thought possible. I mean, who bares that much of their soul in this day and age? Who shares that many abortion stories and manages to captivate an audience with tears and laughter? Who connects so wholly with their audience without it feeling overly preachy or condescension?
I’m not sure anyone really does, but fuck if I didn’t just see Amanda Palmer do it. It’s counter-intuitive to the idea of deified rock stars who all seem so mysterious and out of reach when someone connects the way Palmer does. I felt like I was her and that she was me and that everyone in the room was each other. It was surreal and I wasn’t prepared for my empathy center to be on fire. It was as if for those four and half hours we were one person working out such complex feelings, thoughts, and ideas.
The through-line of the entire evening was radical compassion and, further, how compassion is complicated. Each of her stories had something to do with this idea that compassion is messy, but that it is so important to double down on the inherent good in it. Yes, there is darkness everywhere, but there is also a light that shines through it and we have to cling on to that even in our worst moments. Even when we hit rock fucking bottom.
She related these stories about abortion, death, motherhood, fear, joy, love, loss, controversy, all of it through this lens with wit, humor, candor, and tears. I felt like I’d been shot right through and I am still trying to unpack what I experienced and just how profoundly important that experience was. I don’t feel right trying to paraphrase it or explain it because it really is something that you just have to witness yourself. With a little bit of luck, the evening I saw will be available soon for anyone who doesn’t see this tour because the entire night was being filmed.
