Oh, SF Sketchfest, how I’ve missed you. Fortunately, now that we’re living in what I can only call a ‘semi-post-COVID’ world, our favorite local comedy festival has returned. For me, there was only one way to properly celebrate the restoration of a few weeks’ worth of laughs like only Sketchfest can give us: by getting myself to the Great Star Theater late-ish last night to hear Doug Benson and special guests poke fun at the 80s cult classic The Lost Boys. Warning to anyone who sadly has not yet seen this movie: spoilers ahead!
I’ve been happily snickering in Benson’s audiences for ten years now, and interestingly, it began for me with Twilight. Wildly popular among their fanbase, the Twilight movies (not to mention the books) were not my cup of tea, to say the least. Why, you may ask? Because I’ve been a lover of all things vampire lore for as long as I can remember, and glittery vegetarian vampires were just several steps too far for me. It all started in the 80s; I was about 8 years old with a huge crush on Corey Haim, so naturally, I watched every movie he made (with or without Corey Feldman), including The Lost Boys. Little did I know that it would introduce me not just to a world of vampires I’d not yet explored, but also to the strange beauty that is Kiefer Sutherland. (And yes, kids, that is what vampires should look like: intimidating but intriguing, attractive but scary, and definitively not glitter-skinned.)
Not long after I settled into my seat near the front, Benson appeared to greet the audience, as well as introduce his guests. For this film, he was first joined by Arden Myrin, who I know from her days on MadTV in the aughts (among other things). Next up, Benson introduced Oscar Nunez, who I mostly know from The Office. He was followed by Mike Carrozza and finally Chad Opitz. Because it was already past 10pm and the event would run until about midnight, the group wasted no time taking their seats and starting the film.
The first topic of interest was the film’s location. Clearly set in Santa Cruz, California but using the fictitious town of “Santa Carla,” there were several jokes made about the town and it’s supposed status as the “murder capital of the world.” As the opening credits rolled, Benson noticed that they were ordered alphabetically: “that explains why Corey Feldman got top billing!”
Much of the chatter during the movie centered around the clothes the characters wore, and rightly so. Corey Haim, in particular, wore quite a range of ridiculously-oversized garments in all kinds of wacky prints and colors. Myrin and Bensen noticed every ugly shirt, regardless of which character it was on, and made up silly lines for Haim’s character wanting to borrow and wear them. (“Mom, I need that blouse!”)
In the film, Jason Patric’s character begins to turn into a vampire after drinking blood at the vampires’ lair. In a scene at the home he shares with Haim’s character, he awakens when he suddenly realizes he’s been sleeping on the ceiling. He ends up basically floating out the window and realizing that he can’t go back into the house without an invitation. This is one of the only scenes in the movie where you actually see a vampire kind of fly, and the comics did not disappoint. Benson made a comment about “fizzy lifting drinks,” and someone else later said that Patric’s character had been drinking “Willy Wonka sodas!”
Early in the movie, Dianne Wiest’s character meets Edward Hermann’s. As soon as the girl behind me saw him, I heard her squeal something about “Gilmore Girls!” I realized two things at that moment that were both helpful in tempering my annoyance with this young woman (more on that later). First, it seemed pretty clear to me that she hadn’t seen The Lost Boys yet, as I believe that pretty much anyone who’s seen it would recognize Hermann from his prominent character, rather than only knowing him from his later work in TV. Second, I understood that this girl found herself to be pretty funny and wanted to join in with the comedic commentary from her seat behind me. (It wasn’t until the last half hour of the movie when she said, “why is he talking like that?” about Feldman’s voice, that someone finally said, “why are you talking at all?!” that she finally went quiet, but I appreciated it all the same.)
During one of the scenes at the vampires’ Jim-Morrison-shrine-cum-lair, Benson remarked, “why are they homeless vampires?!” Honestly, this gave me pause. He was right – why didn’t they live in wealth and luxury, as most vampires are typically depicted? It was an interesting choice for the film, and one that I never gave a thought to until this night.
The movie approaches its climax with the “Frog brothers” (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander) and Sam (Haim) doing all they can to protect themselves from the approaching vampires. Any classic bits of vampire lore that haven’t yet been addressed are covered here, so we see them bothered by the sun, their own reflections in mirrors (or lack thereof), garlic, wooden stakes, and holy water. (Interestingly, still nothing about glitter, except that after a particularly bloody battle with a vampire in a bathroom, the Frog brothers are positively covered in gore. In the very next shot, however, both are much cleaner and the blood and guts of the now-slain vampire have magically dried to a glittery crust. The next time you see either Feldman or Newlander, neither has anything on his clothes at all. Magic, I guess!)
During one scene, Jami Gertz’s character is distressed, with wild curly hair tossing as she frets. Benson chuckled as he thought out loud: “she looks like she was fucked good!” Not long after, he commented on something else I’d never noticed. Kiefer Sutherland’s character sports a beard throughout the film. Impaled on the horns of some taxidermied beast, in death, he’s instantly clean-shaven. Finally, when Edward Hermann’s character’s true identity is revealed and he’s shown in his true vampire form, his face has changed (sort of like those of the vampires on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the TV show). One of the talent commented that when he’d turned, he’d become Jay Leno, the vampire. Again, not something I’d noticed, but he had a point – Hermann’s face had a new chin that did indeed resemble the former host of The Tonight Show.
When the film ended, out of respect for those who contributed to it who are no longer with us, we remained until the credits had finished rolling. Benson rose again to thank the audience for coming and give each of his co-commentators one more round of applause, and the night was over. An hour later, as I was getting ready for bed, I found myself still giggling over funny things I’d never noticed before about the movie, or something funny one of the comics had said. The Benson Movie Interruptions never fail to disappoint, and I’m grateful to SF Sketchfest for bringing them to me year after year. You can bet I’ll be back again and again!
