Porpoise-less fish tale drowns in mediocrity
Yes, I know that headline is a real groaner, but so is the movie that inspired it, so fair is fair. Aquaman is the latest DC Comics superhero to headline his own picture, and, unfortunately, this idea is one that never should have floated to the surface. Australian director James Wan (of the Fast and Furious and Saw franchises) throws in a bit of everything with Aquaman, but ends up with a whole lot of spectacle, and — if you’ll forgive me another water pun — not a lot of depth.
Jason Momoa, who plays our titular hero, is easily the best part of the picture. The Game of Thrones actor embraces his Fabio-esque flowing mane and brings a lightheartedness and playful humor to his role as the reluctant savior of a people he hardly knows. Aquaman, you see, was born as Arthur Curry to Maine lighthouse keeper Tom Curry (the great Maori actor Temuera Morrison) and the beautiful Atlanna, Queen of Atlantis (Nicole Kidman, who seems to be channeling Daryl Hannah in Splash when she makes her first appearance).
Abandoned by Atlanna for his own safety, young Arthur slowly realizes his Atlantis heritage when, on a field trip to an aquarium, he discovers he can commune with sea creatures, in one of the film’s more effective scenes. Later, a teenage Arthur receives counsel and training from a kind and wise Atlantis elder, Vulko (Willem Dafoe), and learns he can breathe and talk underwater, too. As an aside, one of the picture’s notable small and refreshing pleasures is to see both Dafoe and Patrick Wilson (as Arthur’s half-brother, King Orm) cast against type; here, the unconventional-looking Dafoe is the heroic good guy, and the blonde, blue-eyed Wilson is the megalomaniac, sociopathic villain.
All this backstory, though, is just preparation for the meat of the picture, which, in a nutshell, involves Arthur claiming his birthright as the rightful King of Atlantis. That Aquaman is named Arthur is appropriate, as the story blatantly co-opts the King Arthur legend, replacing the sword in the stone with a lost, sacred trident, that, naturally, only the “one true king” can retrieve. Do you think our Arthur will be able to acquire the trident!? Hmm? Do you?
Wan manages to stretch out this simple and predictable plot to an excruciating and tedious 143 minutes. We get tons of repetitive battle scenes between Aquaman and the evil King Orm (Wilson, it should be said, chews the scenery rather delightedly). Arthur and his Atlantis love interest Mera (Amber Heard, looking a lot like Disney’s Ariel come to life) embark on a trip to the Sahara desert that seems ripped from Raiders of the Lost Ark; they must retrieve a long-lost message in what appears to be an old thermos, but apparently is outdated Atlantis technology similar to a floppy disk. And, for some reason that I tuned out, we get a long and protracted fight scene in the hills of Sicily, in which a lot of delicious looking red wine ends up as battle casualties. We also get a totally pointless side story about father/son pirates with a grudge against Aquaman that feels inserted purely for the possibility of setting up a sequel.
In between these manic land endeavors, of course, is battle after battle underwater (including a Gladiator style match between Aquaman and Orm). Wan obviously was eager to keep his FX team busy, and some of the underwater scenes are pretty enough, but the more straightforward scenes on land work far better. Wan could have done with more quiet moments and less frenetic splash, as it were. A scene in a coastal bar with Arthur and his father, for example, showcases Momoa’s comedic timing and the subtle possibilities of the script (by Wan, Will Beall, Geoff Johns, and David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick), as Arthur is confronted by what he thinks are Aquaman-hating bullies, only to have the situation turn into something else very funny and charming all together. In a picture filled with high-energy action scenes, such understated, human moments remind us that a little restraint can sometimes be more magical than large-scale blockbuster mayhem.
“Where I come from, the sea carries our tears away,” Atlanna says at one point, in one of the script’s typically overwrought and melodramatic lines. Well, where I come from, a good superhero movie carries us away with intelligence, wit, and a tight story (like last year’s far superior Wonder Woman). Unfortunately, Aquaman fails on all counts. Momoa’s valiant attempts aside, this picture should have been lost at sea.
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Aquaman opens today at Bay Area theaters.
