Films – Spinning Platters

Film Review: “Cleaner”

Cleaner is an unassuming Die Hard copy with B-movie energy

Daisey Ridley has a stellar view of London and the unfolding hostage crisis.

Cleaner is the type of B-movie matinee you watch while getting ready to meet friends for dinner, or a mysterious title on your streaming platform’s home page that you indifferently hit ‘play’ as you finish the NY Times crossword before heading to bed, only to find yourself having not solved a single clue ninety-five minutes later. You’ll rarely seek the film out, but you’ll welcome its breezy distraction. Cleaner is co-directed by executive producer Sébastien Raybaud (Femme) and Martin Campbell, but the latter’s surefootedness as an action director enables Cleaner to rise above its ham-fisted script. Campbell’s filmography includes iconic brand re-launches like The Mask of Zorro, Goldeneye, and Casino Royale, silly B-movie spectacles like Vertical Limit and The Foreigner, and a few cringe-y flops like Beyond Borders and The Green Lantern. Cleaner fits within the second grouping: a silly actioner with its entertainment value and narrative absurdity evenly matched. Continue reading “Film Review: “Cleaner””

Film Review: “Three Birthdays”

Three birthdays add up to one bad movie

Married couple Kate (Annie Parisse) and Rob (Josh Radnor) discuss their future.

Three Birthdays, an indie that played a few small film festivals in 2023 and 2024 is now available to stream, and that it didn’t get wider distribution is no surprise. Director Jane Weinstock and writer Nevin Schreiner seem to have taken their inspiration from The Ice Storm, Ang Lee’s 1997 award-winning tale of 1970s suburban ennui. But Three Birthdays is no Ice Storm, and its cringey premise and sophomoric script certainly don’t merit a recommendation. Continue reading “Film Review: “Three Birthdays””

Film Review: “Suze”

Canadian indie is a feel-good delight

Suze (Michaela Watkins) forms a bond with her daughter’s ex-boyfriend, Gage (Charlie Gillespie).

With the air waves dominated by the Super Bowl this weekend, you could be forgiven for not noticing a charmer of smart and sweet Canadian indie film that quietly dropped on streaming services on Friday. But with the Big Game now over, seek out Suze, a Canadian film festival gem from 2023 that’s finally available to U.S. audiences. Warm, funny, and engaging, this film deserves a spot at the top of your “must watch” list.
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Film Review: “Love Hurts”

What hurts more… Love? Or watching this movie?

Marvin (Ke Huy Quan) wants a home for you!

Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose deserve better. The two Supporting Actor Oscar winners, for Everything Everywhere All At Once and West Side Story, respectively, can tackle dramatic and comedic material while holding an audience’s most focused attention. When used right, Quan and DeBose can elevate a film from good to great. Unfortunately, Love Hurts isn’t good. Instead, Love Hurts results from an inexperienced filmmaker who doesn’t understand how to utilize the valuable toys he has to play with. The film is excruciatingly overwritten and poorly edited, with Quan’s inherent charm as its sole saving grace. Continue reading “Film Review: “Love Hurts””

Film Review: “You’re Cordially Invited”

Cordially uninvite yourself from seeing this unfunny clamor

Jim (Will Ferrell) and Margot (Reese Witherspoon) feign politeness.

You’re Cordially Invited is built around the sort of romantic-comedy conceit you’d find supporting a plethora of its ilk from the 1990s and early 2000s: a wedding venue is unknowingly double-booked by two eccentric families. This logline is a promising opportunity for comedic hijinks, set-pieces, and confrontations. Unfortunately, You’re Cordially Invited stumbles through its vignette-styled plot without a shred of consideration for how and why anything is happening. Despite noble attempts by the film’s two leads, Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon, to hold it afloat, You’re Cordially Invited is a middling straight-to-streaming title, destined to play unwatched in the background of more engaging home activities. Continue reading “Film Review: “You’re Cordially Invited””

Film Review: “Dog Man”

Dog Man stays on a kid-friendly leash

Author and cartoonist Dav Pilkey’s successful kids book series, Captain Underpants, was adapted into a 2017 box office success. Pilkey’s other book series, Dog Man, is receiving the same treatment. The Dog Man feature film is, for lack of a better term, harmless. The script’s jokes are cute, the narrative is briskly paced, and the voice acting is solid. If you have small kids, there’s a strong likelihood that they’ll really enjoy Dog Man. If you don’t have kids, there’s not a lot in the film for you. Continue reading “Film Review: “Dog Man””

Film Review: “Wolf Man”

Wolf Man has a simplistic horror appeal, but is that enough?

Charlotte (Julia Garner) stares into the increasingly lupine eyes of Blake (Christopher Abbott) in ‘Wolf Man.’

From Leigh Whannell, the Australian director of Upgrade and the masterful modern-day reimagining of The Invisible Man, comes his new take on a Universal Monsters horror classic, Wolf Man. Distilling the werewolf mythos into a visceral it-all-happens-in-one-night movie, Wolf Man is efficient in its pacing and scares. However, the film lacks the emotional gravitas of a romantically strained family trying to reconnect during extreme circumstances. So, because Wolf Man clocks in at under two hours, is pleasantly ultra-predictable, and contains quality thrills, it’s a great choice for a frivolous movie night. Continue reading “Film Review: “Wolf Man””

Film Review: “The Last Showgirl”

Anderson triumphs in sobering tale of an aging showgirl

Shelly (Pamela Anderson) ponders her future after learning her Vegas showgirl gig is ending.

Demi Moore just picked up her first Golden Globe in a 45+ year career for her ferocious performance as an aging, cast-aside starlet in The Substance. That Moore, a 62-year-old former 1980s it girl herself, so deftly inhabits that character speaks to the power of an art-mirroring-life role. Now Pamela Anderson, the 57-year-old former 1990s it girl of Baywatch fame, follows in Moore’s footsteps, turning in an exceptional, unforgettable performance as an aging showgirl in the far less bloody but no less affecting The Last Showgirl.

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Film Review: “Better Man”

Once in a millennium, I recommend spending one of your lazy days watching a biopic

Please don’t call him a CGI monkey. That’s an entirely different CGI animal than an ape. I know you really want to reference his song “Me and My Monkey,” but you’ll just make a monkey of yourself!

Biopics are hard. Music biopics are harder. Typically, both of these are my least favorite type of movie. So why was I so excited to see and review this particular movie? Because I love a new take on the formula, which this movie promised to do. I also love Robbie Williams’s music, so it seemed like a match made in movie heaven. Was it as strong a movie as expected? Continue reading “Film Review: “Better Man””

Film Feature: Chad’s Top 20 Films of 2024

It’s been an odd year for movies, partly due to the lasting effects of labor strikes. There are very few masterpieces, and just as few disasters. Instead, 2024 featured a lot of solid 3-3.5 out of 5 star films, a healthy selection of entertaining fare that enabled the theater industry to finish the year far ahead of what many analysts had feared (box office-wise). Well, without further ado, here’s my ranked Top 20 best films of 2024 (and don’t forget to check out Carrie’s Top 10 Films of 2024 as well): Continue reading “Film Feature: Chad’s Top 20 Films of 2024”