Film Review: Fifty Shades Darker

by Marie Carney on February 10, 2017

Fifty Shades Darker: A movie for people who like their boyfriends to be creepy stalkers

Another scene where Christian Grey is creepy as fuck.

I’m not crazy; I think you already know if you want to watch Fifty Shades Darker, and I would be surprised if anything I could say would change your mind. However, I’m sure there are some people who are just curious about exactly how disgusting of a commentary it is on our current sad culture, and I’m happy to satisfy your curiosity on that point.

Let’s start off with some full disclosure. I actually like the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. The story is predictable and Christian Grey is a controlling asshole, but I do think Dakota Johnson does a great job making the idiot character of Anastasia Steele actually likable. Watching the first film you could almost understand why she fell for such a disgusting man. Watching her struggle with her love/hate feelings is something I can understand.

Fifty Shades Darker is a whole different thing, though. Christian Grey is an even bigger controlling asshole than ever, and Jamie Dornan’s portrayal of the character is even more wooden and unlikable. Hot bodies can make up for a lot sometimes (see my feelings on Zac Efron), but no body is hot enough to make this character watchable. Dakota Johnson as the deer in headlights Anastasia Steele is much more believable, though I felt like it was hard for her to understand her character’s choice to continue this messed up relationship. I found myself just taking notes of all the messed up controlling things Grey does to the supposed love of his life. The weirdest to me is forcing her to use Ben Wa Balls while at a party at his parents’ house, though that’s probably the most innocuous of them all. Creepily stalking her in the beginning and buying the company she works for are really the worst. It makes me so sad to think that women might watch this movie and think this is okay, and even possibly sexy? So gross.

As if all that isn’t bad enough the supposed plot is even worse. Other characters and dramatic story lines are introduced, but then just fizzle into nothing. For example, Christian’s ex submissive Leila (Bella Heathcote) is stalking them, which you see a big teaser for in the trailer. But all this stalking and a threat with a gun just end in… nothing. Back to Ana telling Christian that he’s horrible, and him saying basically, “Yes, but I’m sexy and you like it.” Uuuuuugggghhhhhhhh!!!! Every bit of possible interest added to the story just does this. Set up, reveal, argument about relationship, sex scene.

So, if you are looking for my recommendation, for some bizarre reason I’d say it’s worth watching if you are attracted to either of the lead actors, since there is A LOT MORE sex in this one than the first. Or if you want to see some really sad proof of how most women have been conditioned to hate themselves in our culture. Otherwise, please save yourself the two hours of anger..


Fifty Shades Darker opens in Bay Area theaters on February 10th.

 

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