Mega New Release Round Up 3/16/10 and 3/23/10 – 52 Instant Album Reviews

by Pouria Yazdi on March 29, 2010

Don't stare too hard or you'll go crazy

So I’ve been working a lot of long hours. It has sapped my will to be funny or amusing. Basically sapping my will…although I guess it could also be a direct result of listening to Bieber. Zing!

My World 2.0 by Justin Bieber – God damn it. Just fucking…god damn it…is that Ludacris? Wow.

Still Standing by Monica – Yes this is better than Bieber, but what does that mean…wait Ludacris is on this track too? He must be coming out with an album. The album itself is pretty awesome.

Head First by Goldfrapp – Yea this is better than Monica. Love the synths and the airy feel. Yes.

Black Sands by Bonobo – Hookah bar music.

Black Rock by Joe Bonamassa – Wree-wree-woo. That’s my electric guitar solo.

Habits – by Neon Trees – Songs like “1983” are great, songs like “Girls And Boys In School” suck. The mix is roughly half-and-half. Sometimes it sounds like they’re every other single popular band you’ve ever heard, which can be good but questionably so.

Last Person (EP) by Jenny Owen Youngs – The first thing you think when you hear this is that this chick must be fine. She is. Plus she sings some pretty awesome indie-folk. Double win.

School Gyrls by School Gyrls – My immediate thought is how old are these girls. My instincts say too young for that album cover and too young for the content. Disney you are weird.

Two Thousand And Ten Injuries by Love Is All – I was like…Swedish? Yes! Swedish rock bands fronted with the ladies are the best.

Coconut by Archie Bronson Outfit – Kind of like listening to someone talking through a vibraphone. Some choice tracks like Hoola and Chunk, listen to those.

S-M 2: Abyss In B Minor by Serena-Maneesh – This music is definitely for the smart people. I can tell. I’m not smart. Stresses me out.

Convict of Conviction by Sonya Kitchell – Voice paired well with music. Pretty sad. There’s even a song called Mr.Suicidal…you know.

Skulltaste by Mux Mool – The album cover is bending my mind. I’m trying to stop it from exploding my brain. Some of the beats sound like a robotic anthem of triumph. I dig those ones, like the titular track.

Twist of Fate by Bad Lieutenant – Only 2 songs on this but I was really into the Poisonous Intent Jam. I was bobbing my head around without even being aware of it.

Sting In The Tail by Scorpions – I like bands like Dio, but when you start off talking all this noise about being born in a hurricane with the same wares you were selling back in the day, with no reference to dragons, I can’t take you seriously.

Songs About Fucking Steve Albini by Kid606 – Layers and layers and layers of loops.

Me Oh My by Cate Le Bon – I think this is the first time I was like woah, haunting voice…but then some rubber-bandy-laser-gun noises happen and then I get confused.

Dinner And A Movie by Brotha Lynch Hung – You gotta appreciate when you’ve got a rapper whose content is cannibalism…maybe. What has stuck with me ever since listening to my first lynch album is this, *jaw drop*

Manifesto by Inspectah Deck – It’s cool. Features all the standard elements of a laid-back hip-hop lover, like a song about how much he loves the woman in his life. It’s just not blowin’ my mind.

Note To Self EP by Richy Nix – I guess this guys message is being rich is bad for your soul or something. Mostly I can’t figure out why neon green all over the album cover was thought of as a good idea.

You Won’t Be Happy With Me EP by Roadside Graves – You know, you and me, money, love, country, raspy voices, twangy guitars, strings, pianos, America.

Put Em Up EP by Ancient Astronauts – Feel like this would be played at some coffee shop with bad coffee.

Be Human by Brighten – Straight up teenage love rock. For people who have loved and not lost.

No Prisoners by Gaudi – Sounds like something where someone was like I have something to say and I want to use electronic, reggae, and spoken word. If that doesn’t let you know what this album is about I don’t know what will.

The World That Never Was by The Secret History – An odd mixture of The Smiths and The Magnetic Fields…but with less impact.

Born And Thrown On A Hook by Drink Up Buttercup – I really liked the first track, then it kinda veered off for me. Kinda like going to a party you initially have apprehension about, but then you go and initially it’s cool and you’re like “man I was wrong, cool,” but then you find out you were totally right.

Stray Bullets – EP by Emm Gryner – This is totally for listening to through the mall PA while you shop at Land’s End.

Don Cusack In High Fidelity by Donwill – This is good. Donwill plays the character from the book and is a rapper…it’s pretty awesome. It sounds good most of the time and is fun (minus the non-good club mixes). More albums should be awesome.

The Big To-Do by Drive-By Truckers – Really complex stories about shitty lives. Voices that sound like the old-questionable-pedo on Family Guy. Typical Drive-By.

Survival Story by Flobots – I guess I’m confused on whether this is supposed to be good.

In The Dark by The Whigs – I guess if you’re lookin’ for more garage rock give these guys a go. I found them bo-bo-boring.

Run Wolves Run by Sean Hayes – All trembly voiced and shrill. I like that.

Holy Smoke by Gin Wigmore – Sounds like Macy Gray. That is not good, by the way.

The Edge Of Heaven by Gary Lucas – Umm…like smooth electric guitar stylings with Japanese vocals…I’d expect this to be playing during some highly violent and stylized mass fight scene in a Japanese gangster movie…or a Korean one.

Chad Price / Rocky Volotalo – Split EP by Chad Price, Rocky Volotalo – They had to split this EP because the amounts of cheese being produced by only one man was inhuman. Does that make sense? In my head it does.

Future Factory by The Society of Rockets – Fun, tropical, and distorted robots. That’s what this album is. Though I don’t think I can stay on for an hour plus.

Lucky Numbers: The Ghostly International EPs by Lusine – This would be in some mis-marketed car ad.

Halfway To Heaven by Brantley Gilbert – I like the guitars, lyrics, but not the looping vocals. The music makes me hope this guy has been arrested. A search for “bradley gilbert jail” brings up nothing. After listening to more of the album I realize if I search for “bradley gilbert heart throb” there’d be like a kajillion hits.

I’m Still Here by Mindy McCready – She’s like a sultry county music fetishist. You figure that one out.

Voodoo by Alexz Johnson – As cute as her voice is it feels like a big act. In fact that’s all these albums today have been so far. Just a bunch of bullshit marketing.

Tastes Like Magic by mr. Gnome – First off it’s cool that two people are making these noises. Secondly they’re in town in April, you wouldn’t have much to lose by checking ’em out.

Fireball Ministry by Fireball Ministry – I really like this. It feels super like you know, being in some sort of retro hard rock band, on the tail end of that age, but like cool.

Fly Yellow Moon by Fyfe Dangerfield – Dude I don’t know. I guess you’re trying to let me know your feelings and stuff but I got real problems.

Distorted American Dream by Depswa – I mean I’ve been working overtime a lot this week and I can not listen to this. Like one bit.

Liquid Love by Shy Child – I think this is the kind of pick me up I need right now. Electropop that is easy to listen to. Perfect for spring time airiness.

Mythology Of The Metropolis by Deceptikon – One of those albums that makes you feel really fucking cool when listening to it.

The Way of the Animal Powers by Zu – Am I weird for liking this? It’s like a musical mess. I guess someone out there could define there music in a genre. I can define it in the following, it’s falling-over-youself-after-drinking-too-much-whiskey-and-taking-too-many-drugs rock.

Torches by Brian Borcherdt – Sounds like a bit like a lazy Bon Iver or something.

Moonlight Music by Lab Partners – These guys sound a bit like Oasis. A little more distorted elements, but think heavy rocking and reverb. Is that Oasis? I don’t know actually, never really listened to them that much. These guys are good though.

Rococo by The Paparazzi – Pretty awesome.

Machines That Listen by The Delta Mirror – Mixed bag. Some pretty excellent tracks on here like “He Was Worse Than The Needle He Gave You.” Other times it is annoying. But more cool moments than annoying,

Notorious Gravy by Gravy – “Throw it up like you anorexic.” So I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that an overweight man is rapping about anorexics OR that the overweight man is using the wrong eating disorder OR that the overweight rappers name is Gravy OR all of these things.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Tony March 29, 2010 at 9:54 am

I have really missed these columns. I find them amusing but more importantly they allow me to filter what I want to try out. This week I’m gonna try Love Is All and Owen Youngs.

But it really needs retitling, as Albums, EP’s and Single’s. Bad Lieu is a single from their previously released album 🙂

PS. School Gyrls are not a Disney property, they are “run” by Mr Nick Cannon husband of Mariah Carey.

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